Something to talk about in the aisles

GILES Coren gives Tamsin Omond a bumper plug in today’s The Times, just the kind of coverage that we might have expected to seen more of since she first announced she was standing in Hampstead and Kilburn as an independent candidate.

It’s a humdinger of a column not just about Tamsin,  in which he also explains his wedding plans and the honeymoon that will get in the way of him taking part in and watching this year’s General Election. He writes:

You think I’m going to spend 17 of the remaining 21 days till my wedding planning how to chip one pebble off Frank Dobson’s mountainous majority in Holborn & St Pancras? (That’s assuming he’s standing again, which I’m not sure he is. In fact, I’m not a hundred per cent certain he’s still alive.)

So Giles is fed up with Dobbo, who is very much alive and kicking. Coren later expands on that view some more, suggesting how if he was to use a postal vote, he’d use it on “my cop out tick next to the Lib Dems”.

But before the Lib Dems feel too warm about this oblique if-I-have-to support, watch out for the mixed messages in there too. Coren also sneaks in a little pop at Camden Council (that’s the one run by the cop-out? Lib Dems, in a coalition with the Conservatives). Back issues of The Times will surely show he’s always been fond of a little dig at the place where he pays his council tax, even if he was willing to take Camden’s cash to promote its lacklustre Love Camden booklet last year. The column runs on:

I dare say one can probably post one’s vote early, before one goes away. But then I would be voting without having read all the multicoloured flyers that will be dropping through my door right up to E-day (easily confused on the doormat with curry house and pizza flyers: “We’ll take no lessons from the Opposition when it comes to FIERY JALEPEÑO PEPPERS AND TWENTY-EIGHT KINDS OF HAM!”) And even if I did manage to choose a candidate, have you any idea how complicated it is to register for a postal vote? Neither have I. But I bet it’s a nightmare. It takes six weeks, eight e-mails and quite high-level calculus to arrange a green waste collection in Camden, so how much more tricky must it be to change the ideological direction of a national government from a beach in Crete?

Next time, he is out and about shopping with Lib Dem council leader Keith Moffitt, he’ll sure have a lot to talk about.

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