AS Arsenal humbled Spurs again in the north London derby today – it was FIVE TWO people, even people who don’t like football can work out that’s a lot of golazos – indulge me a little and let me republish a column in the New Journal from last year in which I forecast that Harry Redknapp would not be leading Tottenham Hotspur to a first league championship since George Clooney’s birth. The wheels came off Spurs’s challenge a couple of months later. Watching on today, the five decade wait, reassuringly for anybody who likes their north London football to be red, looks likely to only get longer…
A LITTLE experiment: I want all of you to think about George Clooney. All of you. Picture him in your head. I’m talking about the actor man George Clooney. Maybe you remember him from ER. Or Batman. Or Ocean’s Eleven. Just keep thinking Clooney. GEORGE CLOONEY. CLOONEY!
Right. You’re back in the room. What kind of picture did you have in your head when I asked you to think of George Clooney? You should have pictured a swarthy 50-year-old man, his eyes a little ringed with laughter lines, a snatch of grey hair, mature and sophisticated. A man who has seen things, done things, tasted everything that life has to offer.
Well, the little-known fact you need to know is that George Clooney, the actor man you just thought of, him, was born on the exact same day in the world’s history that Tottenham Hotspur clinched the league and cup double in 1961, the last time that Spurs were champions of the land. So, the maths: it has taken the growth of an entire, real-life George Clooney to get to the stage where Spurs are thinking about winning the league again. When George Clooney took his first steps, Spurs were waiting. When he fell off his tricycle, Spurs were waiting. When he passed his driving test, when he first kissed a girl, when he made his first film, when he made his 15th film, Spurs were waiting all that time.
Harry Redknapp is fun for banter but it will take a Hollywood script for Spurs to end their Clooney-sized wait for the league championship this season.