NATURE lovers: There are three new pelicans over in St James’s Park, carrying on 350 years of pelicans-in-the-park tradition. The Telegraph reports that they are “friendly creatures and can often be seen climbing out of the lake to sit on benches alongside visitors”. Chinny-reckon. Anybody who has the internet knows that the St James’s Park pelicans are bloodthirstier than that. They climb out of the lake not just to sit on a bench and help visitors with their lunchtime crosswords, but also to control London’s pigeon population with one big gulparoo.
YouTube evidence is compelling. The pellie at St James’s below looks like some sort of street performer who eats pigeons for the crowds. Look at the line of people with camera phones on the right hand side, who almost look like they don’t know whether to intervene or applaud. Mr Big Mouth should have a cap down to collect pennies from the fascinated gawpers watching one of the bird world’s most macabre scenes. Same time tomorrow, show starts at 2pm.
YouTube suggests this isn’t a one-off. Many pigeons perish. In fact, say pelican in a game of word association to anybody who has been to St James Park’s and they will instantly, without fail, say pigeon. Friendly creatures maybe, but not if you are a pigeon. My hunch is that they would eat us alive if they could.