Journalism’s new meme: Lah-de-dah Lidl features

Rachel-Johnson-01-1IS the watery well of feature ideas beginning to run dry on the nationals? For just a month after Petronella Wyatt nosed around Lidl in Camden Town to write a whimsical, shops-like-oiks review for the Daily Mail, Boris Johnson’s columnist sister Rachel has done virtually the exact same thing for today’s The Times.

While staff offered to go and get a coffee for Petsy from a nearby Starbuck’s and she ended up grading the store  8 out of 10 – it was Aldi in Kilburn High Street which gave her the creeps – poor Rach found the Lidl in Camden High Street far less welcoming. The headline: ‘Finally, I’ve been to Lidl, please don’t make me go there again’.

“I am used to entering a supermarket to the toasty aromas of baking bread and freshly ground coffee,” she weeps. “This was like entering a morgue, only colder and deader somehow. Shoppers shuffled around aisles staring at products I didn’t even know existed (tripe-flavour dog chub). The ‘flower market’ consisted of a few bunches of petrol-station carnations in a cardboard box”. She later laments the “dusty bottles of rioja” and the fact the parsnips were – and wait for the sheer horror of this – billed as a “NEW arrival in store”.

Just wait ’til someone tells them Poundlound is about to open in Camden Town – the meme for Lah-de-dah Lidl features must be worth a double spread when that happens.



1 Comment on Journalism’s new meme: Lah-de-dah Lidl features

  1. Let it be known that the radio critic of The Lady can be found in his local Lidl in Gloucestershire several times a week. Here, Lidl is classless. Everybody shops there, and there is no dust on the wine bottles. Parsnips as ‘NEW arrival’ – this suggests to me that Lidl regards them as seasonal, selling them when they are freshly available, and not trying to source them all year round. As for the smell of “baking bread and freshly ground coffee”, la Johnson does know that supermarkets do that to make people buy more? It’s a trick and she’s falling for it hook, line and sinker. In any case, most Lidls now have an in-store bakery, and the cheese twists are lovely.

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