IS the watery well of feature ideas beginning to run dry on the nationals? For just a month after Petronella Wyatt nosed around Lidl in Camden Town to write a whimsical, shops-like-oiks review for the Daily Mail, Boris Johnson’s columnist sister Rachel has done virtually the exact same thing for today’s The Times.
While staff offered to go and get a coffee for Petsy from a nearby Starbuck’s and she ended up grading the store 8 out of 10 – it was Aldi in Kilburn High Street which gave her the creeps – poor Rach found the Lidl in Camden High Street far less welcoming. The headline: ‘Finally, I’ve been to Lidl, please don’t make me go there again’.
“I am used to entering a supermarket to the toasty aromas of baking bread and freshly ground coffee,” she weeps. “This was like entering a morgue, only colder and deader somehow. Shoppers shuffled around aisles staring at products I didn’t even know existed (tripe-flavour dog chub). The ‘flower market’ consisted of a few bunches of petrol-station carnations in a cardboard box”. She later laments the “dusty bottles of rioja” and the fact the parsnips were – and wait for the sheer horror of this – billed as a “NEW arrival in store”.
Just wait ’til someone tells them Poundlound is about to open in Camden Town – the meme for Lah-de-dah Lidl features must be worth a double spread when that happens.
PIC: RACHEL JOHNSON/WIKI/HABIE SCHWARZ