It’s my party and I’ll leave early if I want to

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THE Conservatives promised to reward volunteers canvassing for parliamentary candidate Simon Marcus with a binge watch of the new series of House Of Cards. The rank-and-file were offered the treat of  “appropriately themed snacks, drinks and the first four episodes” of Kevin Spacey’s hit political drama. 

Sadly, all this Saturday night fun was a bit too much for Simon himself. The father-of-two understandably reckons he hasn’t got much time for boxsets right now and retired after just one episode, leaving the table of ribs to younger colleagues gathered at the local HQ in Heath Hurst Road. Aides say he wanted to be fresh and pumped for Sunday’s key hustings at the Belsize Square Synagogue.

But wait… Big Si can’t sneak off that easily. Rules-watcher Nigel Rumble, a former party member who stood as an independent in council elections last year, tweeted:

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